Cunnilingus, eating pussy, going down on someone, licking someone out, whatever you want to call it, oral sex is where you use your mouth to stimulate someone else's genitals.įiladendron Getty Images First time lesbian sex ‘For people with a vulva having sex with another person with a vulva, sex can be mutual oral sex,’ says Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, a sex and intimacy coach and psychologist for Ferly. In truth, some queer people love scissoring and do it regularly, others say it doesn’t work for them and it’s not part of their sex lives. If you’ve ever watched lesbian porn, you could be forgiven for thinking scissoring is all women and vagina-havers do when they have sex with each other. Scissoring is another hotly debated topic. Queer women and people with vaginas are often asked, “Who’s the man in the bedroom?” for example.

There are many harmful myths surrounding vulva-to-vulva sex that are steeped in ignorance, homophobia and stereotypes that it is important to unlearn. So here’s what you should know if you have a vulva and are having/planning to have sex with another vulva-having person. Part of the reason so many of us are unsure about how sex between two vulva-having people works, is because sex education is very heteronormative (meaning it focuses on straight/cisgender male and female couples and penetrative penis-in-vagina sex). So instead of using the term lesbian sex, we should instead be referring to it with a more inclusive term, like vulva-to-vulva sex, sex between two women or people with vulvas, or even just queer sex. We know not just women have vulvas and vaginas (some transgender and non-binary people do, too), and that not all women and people with vulvas who have sex with other women and people with vulvas identify as lesbians (they may identify as queer, bisexual, or pansexual, for example).

Lesbian sex implies it involves two women who both identify as lesbians. While many people still use the term lesbian sex, any LGBTQ+ person will tell you it’s outdated.

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